Fake Meat on Pizzas

Last night I had a “meat feast” pizza. It wasn’t actually called meat feast this time but you know the kind of thing. Unsurprisingly, it was disgusting. That’s it, I’m officially done with meaty pizzas. Well, until I forget in a few months, anyway. Embarrassingly, I’ve been here before.

Its toppings theoretically included chicken, ham, pepperoni, sausage and sausage meat. They actually included horrible cubes (yes, cubes) of reconstituted chicken, horrible cubes of reconstituted ham, incredibly thin and tasteless pepperoni, little grey cylinders of watery sausage and strange balls of what I’m generously presuming was sausage meat, though it could have been anything really.

I’m not sure that any of it was real meat. There, I’m calling fake meat. If someone told me that it was actually a vegetarian pizza and all the “meat” products were actually made from meat substitutes (what’s the point?) then I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

I should probably stress that this was a cheap, cook at home in your own oven pizza. I don’t want to rubbish all pizzas with meat toppings. I’ve been to many good restaurants and had very nice real meat topped dishes.

I think that when it comes to meat in any meal you get what you pay for. If you want to go cheap, stick to the meat-free offerings. Don’t get the claiming-to-be-meat but actually equally meat-free options.